Adult hot The Lie of Love. - lookmybody - lookmybody

Valentine's Day is approaching, so my inner rage is coming out.

I despise Valentine's Day for so many reasons.  Besides the capitalist/consumerist connotations the day involves, I also just cannot stand this forced notion of love.

I am single - happily so.  And I truly mean it, I am not being bitter or cynical.  I am honestly and completely happy with myself.

And I personally believe that everyone, regardless of race, gender, class, etc., should feel this way before feeling forced to commit to someone else for the rest of their life.  I believe that so many relationship issues are created when someone is not happy with themselves, or does not know to stand on their own two feet.  As I write this I am texting two female friends who became engaged to their respective partners in the last year or so, who gave up so much of themselves when they committed their lives to these men.  And if they had taken the time (or had been given the chance) to truly love themselves first, the conversations I am having now would not exist.

I've also seen terrible relationships professionally.  I've seen men who are so controlling and vindictive towards their significant other, for no valid reason.  I have helped women who run back to their ex-partners because their "love" is really an addiction, a need for validation, rather than true mutual affection.

I'm angry because we celebrate love, but don't advertise what healthy love looks like.  Healthy love is not flowers, or dates, or long walks on the beach.  I mean, yes, these are nice parts of healthy relationships.  But healthy love is about the respectful way you treat one another when you're fighting, or the things you say to one another when you're having a bad day.  It's about never needing to apologize for physical or verbal or emotional abuse.  It's about being able to talk things through, maybe even argue things out, but still be respectful of one another.

Bottom line: Let's celebrate HEALTHY love.  Not idealized fictional affection.  Let's celebrate the real deal.

xoxo, Jayy

Adult hot Why I Can't Read Poetry. - lookmybody - lookmybody

Ysra Daley-Ward says:

If you're too afraid to write it, 

that's a good sign.

I suppose you know you're writing the

truth when you're terrified.

(From Bone)

For me, it's the opposite.  I'm too afraid to hear it.

For years now I have shied away from poetry.  Whether it's reading it, or hearing it, it makes me nervous.  I have purchased books by Maya Angelou, Nayyirah Waheed, Andrea Gibson ... they're all under my bed.

Poetry hurts me because I feel like the words read me more than I read them.  It's like they hear the things I've been trying to hide.  

When I read poetry, I want to cover my eyes.  When I hear it, I want to cover my heart.  I really want to know how it is possible for mere words to rip my exterior to shreds, and really reveal the person I am hiding underneath. 

I haven't read poetry for a while, but I want to start again.  I want to get to know myself again, and the words will show me the way.

xoxo, Jayy

Adult hot Where in the World Have You Been? - lookmybody - lookmybody

Well I haven't posted in 25 days.  Oops.

The truth is, I don't feel inspired to write.  I could write about my minimalism journey, but I find that I prefer to capture that through my YouTube channel.  And while I have so much anger and rage about current events, I cannot seem to productively channel that into a blog post.

To be honest, I think that it's just the season.  Time to struggle for a while.

But I wanted to say hello, and that I have been thinking of you.  And I hope to write soon.

xoxo, Jayy

Adult hot Happy New Year! - lookmybody - lookmybody

Happy 2017 folks!

I just wanted to make this quick little post to say thank you to all of those who have supported my blog so far.  I'm looking forward to another year of making posts and videos for you all!  In the coming year, expect to see lots more about my journey into minimalism, fashion, and financial advice!  I am aiming to be debt free by April, and I am excited to share my own personal tips and tricks with you all.

I will also be posting more videos on my YouTube channel.  It would mean the world if you clicked this link and subscribed!  I've already posted many videos, and I cant wait to share more with you!

Cheers to another wonderful year!

xoxo, Jayy

Adult hot December Thirty-First. - lookmybody - lookmybody

I am ringing in the New Year alone.

I just finished reading Andrea Gibson’s The Panic Button Collector for the 429 091 123th time.

I am burning scented candles, and the air smells like caramel.

I am sitting within arm’s reach of the six plants I have managed to keep alive for the past 2 seasons.

My curly red ‘fro is tickling my forehead.

I am wrapped in a blanket and drinking a cup of warm peppermint tea.

I am building a home for these words that I have held onto for so long.

In the next room, my mother snores, and I can hear the rustling of my dad and brother.

So actually, no.  I am not ringing in the New Year alone.

- J

© 

Adult hot Stop Buying for the Life You Don't Have. #MinimalismMonday - lookmybody - lookmybody

I'm guilty of doing this all the time.  I buy a dress to wear for a wedding "just in case" I have to go to one.  I pick up some makeup from the store "just in case" I want to wear it.  A new jacket "just in case" the other two I have don't match my outfit.  Just in case, just in case, just in case.  And with today being Boxing Day in Canada, I need to remind myself of this more than ever.

For most people, once they reach a certain age or stage in life, their lifestyle sort of becomes regular, and they get more familiar with their personal likes and dislikes.  For me, after graduating from school and getting a full time job, I know what my regular life looks like.  I also know who my friends are and what we like to do when we hang out, so certain things (like party dresses) are not necessary for me to own.  I also know what I like to do in my spare time, how I like to dress, what my decor style is ... Bottom line is I know who I am.  And while there are some parts of myself or my life that I might like to change, I cannot shop for the life I don't have.  Which means I need to learn to stop buying things that don't fit into my current life.

Perfect example - I wanted to decorate my room with a certain theme.  Instead of planning ahead and thinking about the practicality of the items I wanted to use, I just went with it and bought any and everything that fit that theme.  Now I have been getting rid of several gently used (expensive) items that not only add no value to my life, but also don't work with the theme or even the space I purchased them for.  Bottom line?  If I had shopped for the space I had instead of the space I wanted, I wouldn't have wasted money and time buying junk.

If you're not a party girl, don't buy club wear unless you actually need it.  If you're not moving into your own space, don't shop for housewares.  If anything you should be SAVING for the life you want, instead of shopping for it.  That way, if that life doesn't become a reality for you, at least you have your savings, with which you could pursue a new goal.

Take it from me guys - stop buying for the life you don't have.

xoxo, Jayy

Adult hot Winter. - lookmybody - lookmybody

Every year I hope that this one will be different.
But then the bad days start happening.
Closer and closer together
Until it's like one long day.  Or night.
Something that doesn't end.

Winter Solstice.
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.

Now I hope things will be exactly the same.
I hope I survive this one too.

J.